Hopeful!

This past couple weeks have been great ones for me! I feel like we are getting to a place where there is light at the end of the tunnel. As many of you know, we have been having some behavior/emotional issues with Layla for the past two years that only intensified when we moved in August. We sought help thru a child psychologist in November, and Layla was diagnosed with Aspergers. From the beginning, I always had a hard time thinking that was really what we were dealing with and I so desperately wanted answers. Layla did show some signs of Aspergers like melt downs, some sensory issues, and lack of empathy; but her behaviors were not consistent. She could turn them on and off depending on if she is around people she is close to. She was evaluated in the public school system for special education and did not qualify because she scored average in all domains, and they also said she showed no signs of Autism. At that time, we were left feeling we were back at square one, not knowing what to do or where to go. Praise God that He allowed a family friend and a lady named Julie to meet and thru conversation began talking about Layla and the issues we were having. She too has an adopted daughter and is the executive director of the Attachment & Trauma network (www.radzebra.org). I had a great conversation with her and she has helped point us in the right direction. She shared with me that many of our children that are adopted have trauma responses and attachment issues (even if they are adopted as infants). After researching more I realized that Layla shows all the signs for attachment and trauma issues and something called Developmental Trauma Disorder.
Although Layla was an infant when we brought her home she was malnourished and at 6 months was barely holding her head up.  Layla probably doesn't consciously remember going without food, getting little attention, and her needs not being met, however, it has effected her brain development. This was a trauma that occurred when she was most vulnerable and there was nothing that she could do about it. Now Layla feels the need to always be in control, even though many times her control seems like chaos to us, leaving us as parents feeling very out of control! We have tried every type of discipline that worked wonderfully with our two boys with no avail. We have tried time-out, time-in, holding, ignoring, positive reinforcement; you name it and we've done it!
Things are now beginning to look up! After talking with Julie, Layla has now started Occupational Therapy and I just met with Family Intervention. God is so good! Family Intervention is right here in our county, and they have therapist that specialize in attachment therapy (they are hard to find)! Not only that, but they will begin coming to our home to do therapy with Layla once a week and also to do family therapy with all of us! I know that God has a plan for Layla and for us!
Going through this with Layla has given me so much more empathy for children with behavior issues and their parents. To be honest, I used to see a child that was out of control and defiant and think, "those parents just need to discipline their child!" Now I realize that may not be the case. I realized how far God has brought me this past weekend while serving on Fulton Industrial Blvd, at Maximum Impact. There was a little boy there that was completely out of control. He was doing everything he was not supposed to be doing. He was about to be kicked out of the Kids Zone area and my heart was so burdened for this child. I went over to him and grabbed him by the hand. I started telling him that I knew he was a good boy, that Jesus loved him,  and that I knew he could follow the rules. After a while, I began to see a few hints of a smile and he stood by me hand in hand as we stood in line to get in the bouncy house. I don't know what this boy's story was, but what I did know is that I could see Layla when I looked at him. I can only pray that if this were my daughter that someone would see her as a child of God, and not just her negative behavior. That someone would also take her by the hand, tell her that she is special, and love her like Jesus would. Isn't it AMAZING how God uses the hard in our lives for His glory! A year ago, I would have never seen this little boy like that. I would have seen him as just another child in need of discipline. God always has a plan, even when we can't see it. Thank you Lord, for knowing what I need even when I don't.